I was listening to NPR last week and heard an update about a study being done in Texas about happiness. The original study showed that adults without children were happier than adults with children. The second study was trying to prove that the original study didn’t dig deeply enough. It stated that people with children may actually be happier.
What baffled me is that both studies were based on the assumption that happiness is the same for all people. From years of working with different temperaments I know this is absolutely not true. And if you think about all the people you know and what makes them happy you will realize that you know this isn’t true, either. In addition, happiness is not necesssarily a goal that all people have. I’ve heard many people say they are striving for other feelings in life such as peace, balance, harmony, security or other goals. The general concept of “Happiness” is actually not counted as a central desire for many people because it is defined in such different ways by so many people.
What makes you happy? For me I don’t give a lot of importance to the general word “happy”. However, I do like to feel “at peace”. This feeling usually comes with the satisfaction of seeing a job or task completed or seeing I have helped someone in some way. Being “at peace” is my favorite feeling on earth. I enjoy it even more than if I were at a dinner show with a friend laughing. However, people doing studies would probably define me then as “not happy” or “not enjoying happiness”.
I find that my temperament clients are most satisfied when they understand what their “favorite feeling” is and how they can acheive this. I find they are the least satisfied when they try to obtain a goal someone else has set for them. Take some time to think about what your goals are personally – do you strive for peace? Balance? Spiritual satisfaction? Excitement?
When you define your success by your own goals you will find you are more satisfied and successful in life. Don’t let someone else tell you that “You need to be happier” or “you need to experience more excitement” or “stop being so depressed (when stated as a perception)”, etc…and certainly don’t let a study tell you that you would be happier without kids 😉
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