One of the lamentations I hear from clients, parents and teachers is “I could never accomplish what they accomplished!” We are so bombarded with messages on Facebook, newsletters, blogs and other avenues that proclaim the successes of others that our accomplishments pale in comparison. But do they?
Note: As you read this message below please read it as a message of reassurance. It is not meant as an instructional message to tell you how to post or how other people should post online. It is meant to reassure you that the posts you see may not be “all there is”.
Although it appears many people are the “ideal natural parent or teacher” online, the reality is something of a mix. Next time you feel “down” about what you have accomplished remember these tips:
1. Many accomplishments you see or hear proclaimed may actually be the result of many years of hard work. For example, The BEarth Institute started as a one-page home-made HTML based website 20 years ago and has grown slowly over that time. None of what you see there happened quickly. I always tell people “It had better look impressive – it took 20 years to create it!”
2. It isn’t healthy to share the negative things. I’ve had bad days, I’ve yelled at my children occassionally and even said things I wish I should not have said. I’ve had days when I was so sick I laid on the couch and told all the kids to “find something to do” (in the most troll-like voice you can imagine ;). But its not healthy to share negative energy with the world. What value would it bring to the world to say “I’m having a miserable day and I yelled at my child today.” Nobody wants to hear about that and it does not add value or inspiration to anyone’s life – but the fact that parents and teachers are silent on such matters does not mean they do not exist. It just means they have the wisdom to keep quiet until they are thinking more clearly.
3. People don’t post their daily diet. Yes, I’ve eaten an MacDonalds and I’ve fed my kids french fries. It’s not a habit but it has happened. Why didn’t I post photos of us at MacDonalds? Because the visits happened so infrequently and didn’t really reflect what we are all about. I, like many others, are careful to make sure that what they post reflects their “average” life or “ideal” and does not reflect that “one bad choice” they made. Once it is out there it has a life of its own and could become viral and give the impression that a “one time thing” was a habit.
4. We create our own reality. By posting the positive we focus on the positive and that DOES become the reality over time. Not 100% of the time, but it does help – so you won’t see many negative posts from people who are striving to stay positive.
5. Posting mistakes can be confusing. When someone writes a BLOG or a newsletter they want it to be informational and helpful. Would you find it more helpful to read about the beautifully executed lesson plans with pictures and clear instructions or would you rather hear about the failures with confusing pictures and no instructions? It could be confusing if someone posted an assortment – you wouldn’t know which posts you could use and which ones were “just for reading”. Most good Bloggers and Newsletter editors realize their readers want information they can use. However, everyone should realize that all this usable information came at the cost of many more unusable or failed lessons.
So…stay focused on the positive but don’t let the positive focus make you feel like you have failed! You are successful and the more you focus on the successes you have the more successful you will be!
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