Stress Free Parenting with Toddlers

When I had younger children (0-7) I often perceived life as being hectic and busy. I talked myself into being stressed about it so many times. However, as a parent who now has teenagers I want to share with you all – early childhood is the most relaxing time of your life! And it’s not because of the stress of teenagers or “old age” – it is because of something that comes so naturally to parents in early childhood (but that we must struggle to regain as our children age) – mindfulness.

There has been a lot of talk about mindfulness in the mainstream news lately and even more talk about it over the past few thousand years (any meditative practice focuses on this). There was even a well-known book written on the topic called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, which talked about practicing mindfulness in every day life and not just through meditation.  There have even been scientific studies to prove that mindfulness is super healthy (see HERE )

So with all of these experts weighing in on the topic would you be surprised to know that you actually have the ultimate expert in your home? And S/he is probably taking all the pots and pans out of your kitchen cupboard right now!

This is because children live in the now. And this “now-ness” is what can also explain a lot of parental mysteries. Toddlers always seem unconcerned when parents say they will “take away their favorite toy if they don’t stop yelling”. Is the parent taking away their favorite toy now? Then it doesn’t matter to them. Toddlers and young children seem oblivious to a mess around them. Why? Because they are too focused on what they are doing now. What mess? (That is so five minutes ago!) And young children can often have extreme and dramatic reactions to anything that happens to them. Why? Because the only thing that exists for them is what is happening now and if it is something negative this presently means that their entire life has suddenly become “horrible”. Their entire life…not just some of it – all of it.

And although these behaviors can often be frustrating to parents they are also the same behaviors that pull parents and teachers into the “now” with great consistency.  I’ve always felt that the best thing about teaching young children was that one is pulled into the “now”. One doesn’t have time to think about the past, future or any problems in the present outside the classroom. A person’s entire emotional, physical and intellectual being is pulled into the “now-ness” that is childhood.

Around the age of seven children slowly start coming out of that inner-being and inner-time focus and start to venture more into the world. Along with this physical movement comes the psychological movement of a child being able to grasp the concepts of past and present more readily. This is often a relief to parents and teachers. However, at the same time, it is the beginning of the child’s journey out of the world of “now-ness” and into the chaotic world of adulthood.

So what can you do to help yourself and your children keep this healthy focus on the now? Simple awareness is the first step. Being aware of this natural progression will help you adjust accordingly. Instead of wondering why you are feeling more scattered, stressed and strung-out you can focus on finding ways to prevent that by practicing mindfulness activities. And instead of blaming your stress, forgetfulness and low energy on “old age” or on “those teenagers!” you can regain your peace, memory and energy by practicing mindfulness.

Here are my top ten favorite mindfulness activities. I have not listed meditation because that is an obvious one and is actually not one of my favorites:

1. Making a cup of tea and focusing on the process, colors, sights and sounds.
2. Taking a walk in nature and focusing on what you see, the colors and sounds.
3. Taking five minutes to close my eyes and listen to the sounds around me and try to identify them.
4. Doing dishes.
5. Focusing on one word for five minutes and repeating it in my mind.
6. Focusing on one note or series of notes for five minutes and humming them over and over in different ways.
7. Gardening.
8. Petting a cat or dog while completing focusing on the experience.
9. Knitting while doing nothing else but knitting.
10. Writing anything – an article, a poem, fiction, non-fiction, journal entries, a song, etc…

What are your favorite mindfulness activities? What have you learned from your child about mindfulness activities? Watch your child for a day and see what they do to stay in the “now”. What can you learn from that?