Golden Beetle Curriculum Guides

The Uniform Debate   (newspaper article originally in two columns) I was a member of the ‘Collar Up Gang’. We were easy to identify, wore our shirt collars turned up, our school ties only 3 inches long. This was an expression of our contempt for uniforms at my North Coast public high school un-affectionately known as […]

AN AVIAN COLLEGIATE! “In a way the teaching profession is like a large aviary; teachers can be characterized as various types of birds. This is not to demean them in any way, merely to isolate and study the well ~ or should that be feed tray? – from which they draw their disciplinary prowess. In […]

THE TEACHER’S NEW CLOTHES! The hall was very quiet as the remaining delegates wondered what the Chairman would do next. “I’d like to say a few words on how teachers can influence their environment to produce positive conduct in their pupils. Naturally as they have the power to control, they are also often responsible for […]

“WRITE OUT 100 TIMES – I MUST NOT GIVE BRAINLESS PUNISHMENTS!” The storm had cleared as the delegates gathered for the after-dinner session of The Great Discipline Debate. The afternoon summer light brushed the high cirrus fleeces with gold dust. James Boanerges introduced the next guest; she was an administrator of a large mental hospital […]

“VORKIS LOVE MADE WISIBLE!” “I’m German,” said the be-suited businessman, leaning on the lectern like one born to public speaking “that’s vhy I chose to speak on the 4th Punishment Principle – Punishment with Vork, To get the most out of our factory vorkers, ve threaten them vith even more vork. So vhy use other […]

“A CHILD SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD!” “Now that we’ve eaten, we can get on with the third principle of punishment – that of separating a child from the ‘herd I as we call it’; standing it with its face in the corner, sending it out into the corridor, whatever – only when it’s […]

“SHIP UP OR SHAPE OUT!” Chairman Boanerges peered at the agenda and cleared his throat, so did the storm over the gun-metal grey hills. “The second discipline principle is that of Expulsion, or in its lesser form, Suspension. Who wishes to open the discussion? And your name sir?” “Vicar Xavier Ausize, I’m the principal of […]

“SPARE THE CHILD – SPOIL THE ROD” BOOOOOMMM – RUMBLE – grumble – rollll. The thunder echoed from distant mountain to grey, foam-fretted sea … CRAAASH!! – a thunder bolt exploded right in the Conference Hall itself, or that’s how it seemed. All the delegates hid their heads in terror; but as they peeked out, […]

SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES Counseling or Not? There is a huge industry out there that sells smoke; its 19th century counterparts sold snake oil. At least with – usually opium-based – snake oil there was a tangible product with which the gullible could delude themselves. The smoke salespersons are the burgeoning counselling community. “But […]

SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN The Tragedy of Family Break-up on Children The 9-year-old girl walked slowly along the footpath jangling a stick against the open-bar fence. Out raced the Alsatian – a clockwork dog, its alarm set off by the perceived trespass. It snarled and barked at the little girl; and she barked back. Alas, […]

EVEN ‘IVAN THE TERRIBLE’ WAS A CHILD! After the shivers of horror have subsided following the revealing of the gruesome details of the seven backpacker murders, society could well take time to reflect on Ivan Milat’s childhood experiences. This must, to some degree, have contributed to the tragic events at Belangia; as well as to […]

“WE HAD FUN AT THE CEMETERY!” Victory in the Battle of Boring “BOOOORRRRING!!” This is sadly the modern child’s most lethal weapon against their teachers, homeschoolers or otherwise. One has spent ages lovingly preparing the lesson, making sure to include many elements of interest and stimulation. Then five minutes into the presentation, some rude little […]